Vanishe

SOS

2009-04-06T07:49:00.000-07:00

Saints on stage launch tomorrow!

and i'm going out to town aft GP lecture with clique! How awesome! God is being good this week its all ferocious (:

All the best to SPSMB!

why hasn't U4DK reply my emaillll i want my dressssssssssss.

-

2008-12-07T09:06:00.000-08:00

I've been busy with ... BAND?

i know i need to study SOON. and some things i need to clear up.

but Band has been satisfying :D i love what i'm doing .

and there are these great people around supporting one another .

which makes me think of perth again and how sucky our performances were there but how fun the shopping spree and late night bitching and munching were. And not to forget the sneaking out to Shell Station and Macs for Milkshake.

All these build us up to be better players, better performers.

And i'm glad i've stayed on.

Cus, it's really something i like doing. Playing music.

Meanwhile, I MISS MY SECTION MATES

SHELDON WHO IS IN KOREA NOW

IVAN WHO CAN'T BE BACK

and Sean quek who just left for Japan

AND MARK WHO IS GONNA LEAVE SOON FOR CRUISE TRIP

.

Down to two mighty women , MEL AND I.

/

anyhow this blog is really rotting but whatever i'm just gonna write down things i wanna look at myself.

Cus i know people out there wouldn't understand a thing i write about.

People always leave

2008-12-03T10:17:00.000-08:00

I finished season 2 (OTH).

I just had Asia Conference, Band camp, and idk what i've been doing this week.

But today is my mummy's birthday.

I feel like overall, my life sounds BORING. but the details of it have made me more than happy.

I found my passion. my directions. and new changes coming along my way.

I realised i did not take a single photo during these days, it sucks.

Even when we celebrated Ivan's birthday on monday, NO PHOTOS.

how pathetic can i get?

i just hate to say this but hey life slow down i'm trying to catch up.

to make things better, i am meeting my clique up tmrw to do geog assignment.

After which it is studying for our first ever Block Test, and the beginning to monster year and monster As.

I just need to know i'll still be breathing by the end of nxt year.

/

this blog is getting pointless.

Unison

2008-11-16T07:17:00.000-08:00

I am happy to see that while some of our secondary school's classmates and their own circle of friends are gradually more and more different and apart in their worlds, i'm proud to say JESHture (pronounced as gesture) is still sticking through together.

Despite us bring scattered across the island, from PJC to ACJC to SAJC to JJC.

But we still choose to reunite every year, that is amazing cuz we are really all busy people.

I guess no matter how busy i am or even if i'm going to die the next moment, i will still want to see the 3 of them. the 3 women who played the most important role in my secondary school years. They've seen me grown and changed the most, and the ugly side of me they accepted it.

What more can i ask for?

My Sweet Pies

2008-11-15T09:19:00.000-08:00

HAPPY SEVENTEENTH BIRTHDAY LIM AH HUI (HUAHUI)!!!!!!

My dearest friend for EIGHT long years! we're gonna have a great time cooking up a meal for you at Judith's place MAN, i can't wait to see how far my culinary skills can go. Though i doubt the distance.

and hello people, Huahui is 17, not 18. No mistakes.

/

And i just feel like screaming,

GINA I LOVE YOU!

today wasn't a bad day. In band, in church, and during fellowship. I've seen a wider picture, of merely the term "life" and what it is beyond the 4 letters.

And the most precious moment today - Daddy made me feel like the most important person on earth.

Isn't that what we long to feel?

HAVE A GREAT SUNDAY! ( i have to give another 3 tuitions again -.- 9 bus rides IS KILLING ME)

sneaking out late tapping at your window

The highway & the loop

2008-11-12T00:42:00.000-08:00

There is not much difference between the mentality you had when you were young and now.

Our physique changes, but those are the lies that we tell the best to the rest of the world.

Looks are deceiving they say, they are the lies themselves. And who you packages yourself to be isn't neccessarily who you are. But nobody likes to be naked to people they do not know.

They say when you grow older, you become mature. So a 40 year old by right is more mature than a 14 year old.

But adults still do childish things. Our behaviour may differ much, but the effect or the result we hope to see from it is the same.

a 4 year old would break a cookie jar for their parents' attention.
a 14 year old would steal and kill for attention.

a 40 year old wouldn't do anything but resign to the "fate".

The behaviour differs yes, but deep in our hearts what we want the most, is actually what that will drive human to behave even the absolute extreme way.

"What is the one thing you want most in your life now?"

Truth? Revenge?

(inspired by one tree hill!)

no matter what is it you want most, you know you can't have it with your own ways. You've tried it but it always didn't work the way you want it too.

This is when you know you have to bow down and surrender yourself to the higher Power, the omnipotent One who sees it all.

The struggles you went through to get what you want

the disappointments in yourself and in other people

the pain you feel where nobody could see

He sees it all. And He is longing to heal it all.

Mahjong queen

2008-11-10T07:39:00.000-08:00

I had a fun day with my band clique at Eunice's place.

4 bus rides to take me home from her Casa Flower whatever condo at Tana Merah back to my home sweet home in Choa Chu Kang.

So to expo its like, 5 bus rides?!

but it was a cooling day. I walked in the rain into her place, its fantastic. Too bad there's a hot guy holding the umbrella missing from the picture. If not it'd have been more perfect than walking in the rain alone.

We swam! and played water polo like some noobs. LOL never ending screaming just trying to snatch the ball.

And we swam again! on the table playing mahjong. It is my virgin experience HAHA, but never use money okay so i never gamble. (God knows :D ) I won 2 in a row, and the third set that i won it was like immediately when someone threw out a card.

CALL ME QUEEN.

it just take a little courage for you to walk out of your cocoon and realise that everything may not revolve around you but they sure do exist for you.

Your existence added color to someone else's life.

and your existence changed the landscape of the entire globe.

Accusation

2008-11-09T07:18:00.000-08:00

I spent my Sunday giving tuitionsssssss. THREE IN A ROW,

first Jurong west, then Jurong east, then Bukit Panjang.

I had to walk rounds to find their blocks.

And my first experience, which is also the best, will no longer be mine. Rachel (dora look alike) is too stressful and tuition will just add burden to her.

I will miss her terribly, though i've only met her twice, but she never fails to make me smile with her stupid questions and actions and astounding laughter.

& Thank you Rachel Teo for the drawing.

This is me, illustration of Rachel. She asked me the things i like and she drew them down as presents for me! (books, pretty clothes, and movie ticket shown above )

That is me i guess. and a ring, and in pink are words : I (heart) Edgar Teo/Zhang, from: Siying.

-.- Edgar's the elder brother she tries to matchmake. he's quite cute! Rachel told me he purposely stayed home to see her teacher. And, i think i might have just disappointed him. But anyway he's a big beng.

I'm starting to feel that i live in this cocoon, like i'm a sheltered puppy who doesn't know the world out there. I appear to know alot (or not), because i've seen alot, but through a glass panel which i can't reach to touch and feel the pain and sorrow, the anger and hatred, the feelings of remorse and isolation.

As i look deeper into the lives of the people around me, the less fortunate (ironically who appears to be happy), they suffered more emotional roller coasters than i did.

Than i the poor caterpillar hidden in the cocoon.

If they say pain and sorrow makes you mature, i don't think i am ready to go through what they've gone through.

My family, my friends, my life.

I'd do whatever it takes to preserve these that i have.

Learn this now and learn it well: Like a compass needle that points North, a man's accusing finger always finds a woman. Always.

- A thousand Splendid Suns

Work on my medicine

2008-11-08T09:21:00.000-08:00

I've long forgotten the fun of meeting someone new. Someone a total stranger.

It's just fun knowing about other people's life story, and digging out their hobbies and interests.

I met one, he is awesome!

Jiawei and his chocolate Frapp. BTW, he is a WEST ZONE CHAMPION BADMINTON PLAYER FROM BLSS!

how awesome.

so we shopped around in Borders for 2 hours ++, o man i love it. I miss the feeling of working there last year. Esp when it was Christmas season, the atmosphere's special.

Books anybody? Cos i want!! i need to wait for my pay before i can get books, and books, and books.

My future (near retirement) would be to reside into the countryside of England, open a small cozy bookstore renting/selling ALLLL the books i've collected all my life, and make cupcakes and tea to serve my lovely readers.

Ever thine, ever mine, ever ours

2008-11-07T02:36:00.000-08:00

I used to own this book, i think the title goes like "Lucy and the time machine".

O, its not a fairytale or a children book.

It was those novel like Meg Cabot's and Cecelia Ahern's if you know their style of writing.

You know, authors like them, and Jodi Picoult can come out with many books (esp Meg Cabot she's like ferrari engine power to the max), mainly because the plot that runs through all the books are almost the same. The smell is just there and can't be rid of. They're poor writers, always repeating the similar tragedies/excitement. Of course i can't promise i can write like them, but as readers, i get bored.

And after completing 4 books from Picoult, i'm sick of it.

my point is, the "Lucy and the Time Machine" was kind of the only one and the last book like "P.S I love you" i will read. But it's interesting, cos Lucy went back in time to those Victorian, Elizabethan days and she met people like Lord Byron and Leonardo Da Vinci (he was gay in the book, not sure if he really was?)

So as i was saying, the book "Love letters of Great Men" looks great. It became popular mostly because of the movie "sex and the city" cos apparently Sarah Jessica Parker was reading it to her husband-to-be in the movie.

And i read it at Kinokuniya! I don't really WANT it but i do want it.

Ok nvm, so Beethoven's romantic!

Ever thine, ever mine, ever ours

I'm too lazy to upload photos here of Judith's 17th birthday at the Botanic Gardens!

so check it out at my facebook.

P.S my doctor is hot

Soak the rain

2008-11-04T23:14:00.000-08:00

This moment now i want to

1. get myself totally drenched to the skin in the rain in Perth

2. hold Lucas Grabeel (Ryan Evans in HSM) hands and run round and about in circles while he sing "I just want to be with you" to me

(HAHA)

3. eat black sesame glutinous ball

4. see Obama to be the America's ever greatest/suavest President

5. run to Heaven and taste teaspoon of it

Happyeh

2008-11-04T07:59:00.000-08:00

My favourite pictures of the day.

I bought a new top from Spellbound, it's a nice place. Maybe the nicest out of the others in Fareast Plaza.

We made a wasted trip down to City Plaza. Its all cheeena and getai bling blings. *shivers

And the dresses i bought online are only coming in in 2-3 working days. :( :( :(

i want NAVY BLAZER from F21!!!!

Picnic tomorrow cuz its JUDITH'S SEVENTEENTH BIRTHDAY!!!

GO wish her happy birthday at 91234567.

XOXO

Ever changes and blossom

2008-11-03T05:21:00.000-08:00

Do you ever feel like our lives changed paths almost daily. Like a single decision could change what's gonna happen next, and the next, and the next moment and everything is just never the same?

A single move or thought can change history.

And what you decide to do, or not to do, is going to make an impact not just in your lives but in the people whom you might have been able to bless/ not hurt.

No one's as small, or insignificant and invisible.

Your presence may not speaks loud, but what you do or not do can actually change the course of someone else's lives?

Is this the reason why life is always so complicated and that God has intended to create man not to be alone but to face these issues?

I wish i could turn the time around, take away the time i've wasted drowning myself in aimless thoughts and matters and reuse them.

But life, or time ain't like an aluminium can. You can't just 3R it. Recycle, reuse, reduce - not.

i am starting to give tuition to earn some $$. And the first kid today, SHE'S A REPLICA OF DORA. FYI, dora's my fav. But she, Rachel, isn't. SOOOO TALKATIVE and playful. OMG she even ask me

"teacher teacher you got boyfriend?"

"Ya, US's president." (i'm trying to be funny to a 10 year old so pardon the lousy joke)

"eeek Obama so old." (i think he is quite hot. ok like way better than Mccain?!!?)

.............................

"Teacher teacher! you want my brother? He is 17, very tall and tann cos he always play basketball.."

............

sounds good? haha.

Here's to end the day,

it took me years to realise, days to deny

came from the same One

2008-10-28T09:11:00.000-07:00

This picture reminds me of someone. HAHAHA (not the one you're thinking)

Went for dinner at Shokudo (Raffles City) today. Too bad i went with a half-empty and grumpy stomach. Cramps are biting me.

Had a fun time just talking to some people. and i realised everyone has their own dreams, an already painted perfect picture for themselves. And i'm still hanging here, not knowing what i really want to do.

I hate thinking about future. Cos it seems like whatever you wanted things to be, they never turned out so. I don't want to be negative (i know i have tendencies to be) but i just can't help it. I mean, nobody has a perfect future. But, i can't come up with any plans too.

Like, journalism... and then? Idk.

A teacher? Idk.

Okay future's a boring topic let's skip it.

So i actually realise that all of us are so different and unique in our own ways.

Some people just naturally stands out in the crowd, some just quietly blends into it.

But, whether we are small and soft, or huge and loud in your presence, we all carry the same power. Cuz we come from the same One who made us and put into us the similar Spirit.

There is only One, the Truth, the Way, the Life.

So we may be different in our color and texture as a chemical compound, but we are made of the similar substance. Strong yet malleable like metals.

Yeah i sound like a O leveler taking Chemistry tomorrow.

Good lucky to all who's taking exams (soon).

Next year's my turn, and maybe that's the only part of the future picture that is worrying me the most. Will i, or how am i going to survive it?

And that is something i could actually start planning.

Fisher of MEN :D

imu

Dizzy Spells

2008-10-24T09:17:00.000-07:00

You know i feel that SMRT or SBS should really go for quality bus drivers. Like let them go through many many tests before employing them cos it's endangering our lives.

Esp certain drivers, they drive sooo fast like trying to imitate Hamilton in F1?! and then when they have to stop at the stops, they halt suddenly and got us thrown forward and backward, forward and backward. It's like sitting on a sampan that tosses with the sea waves, HIGH TIDE.

These drivers, are making me dizzzzzzy everytime i take the bus. Who says public transport is comfortable and clean (like clean in a green way and clean in the quality of the bus)? It's like crap la on the bus. You get all sorts of insects, dirt, and smell. Its so pungent i wanna puke and, they don't even wash their buses?!

Today's was the worst experience, YET (i'm expecting more cus i know it wont change anything but nvm), that triggered me to write a post about it to my own circle of friends and hopefully spread it to SMRT in q5262141541 days so that they will change their policy in 14195820752307 years.

Sitting in the opposite direction's enough to KILL me. and the uncle chose to step on the accelerator, step on the brake, accelerate, brake, accelerate, brake.... He's like playing Para Para?

It made me soooooo dizzy and the bus smelled like shit and urine.

If this is the way we impress the tourists, or even, trying to encourage public transport, maybe it's time for a change?

lines on my forehead

Unashamed

2008-10-23T07:53:00.000-07:00

I was just taking a tour back, visiting my past in the mind. Wasn't a pleasant journey, but i could see how my wounds have been sewed up. It was a taste of bitter and anger, but it all remained in the head, and my heart couldn't feel the pain. Sometimes we just tend to remind ourselves in the head what we should or shouldn't do, but the heart gotta rule. I don't believe in emotions being feminine and logic& reason being masculine. We were created with emotions, with colors in our hearts. Why suppress it with your theories and philosophies, when all it takes is to let your heart take lead for once?

I guess artists die young not because they are always releasing large amount of hormones and feelings, depressing to the body. I think, they've seen the world more than a million times than all the law-by-law people, and they would die without regrets knowing the colors they left behind belongs to the world.

Okay i need to catch up on my daily thursday night tv session!!!

guess what i'm seriously going to learn guitar SERIOUSLY in a SERIOUS manner with a SERIOUS attitude.

So, Polish is second in line.

My classmates said Polish's tongue twister, and the most difficult language to master.

MUAHA, watch me. a few years down the road i'll be your best travel mate to Poland. (if anyone is ever interested in visiting that mini insignificant island of weird people with tongue twisting language)

night world

Yourself

2008-10-21T19:20:00.000-07:00

whoever drinks this water once can never quench her thirst at other springs.

/

It's so hard to fight against yourself.

This week, or even the rest of the year wouldn't pass by easily. I need to fight against myself, and i need to do what is right.

the worse is going against the waves for so long but seeing no progress, no results.

plowing in a field that reaps no harvest...

I need encouragement. And i need to know what WHAT WHAT am i suppose to do.

cos i'm at the end of myself

Beezee

2008-10-18T09:20:00.000-07:00

I think i've contracted some weird diseases.

Addiction to sleeping.

Everyday when i get home the thing i felt like doing the most is to sleep and sleep and sleep, and possibly just sleep.

& it's a bad thing! when you sleep more, you actually waste more time.

I need to kick this addiction, o God help me.

and you know what, i have a big dream.

I WANNA ACE MY A's,

I MEAN(T) IT.

Polish up polish

2008-10-16T02:38:00.000-07:00

I'm learning polish now! Not exactly the grasping the full language, but just certain short verbs and common language.

And, i must learn German and Spanish too when i have time.

I don't know why i'm learning polish cuz it seems so, out of place. Like nobody goes to Poland.

Still, i think these easily neglected languages are the cool-est! Nobody remembers them but if you can speak them, that makes you special.

I'm talking to Aunt living in Perth now. She's telling me many things, like how it feels to be away from your family in another country. and how she is enjoying life there in Perth. Ever since i visited Perth, i knew it is such a magical place. And, i know i will always want to go back again and again. and i can stay with my aunt!

My grandma, cousins and another aunt is visiting her in a few weeks time.

I hope i can too, next year after my trip to Bangkok!

I'm sure Dad misses her lil sister too.

I wish i had spend more time with my cousins,though the age gap's really huge.

I really pray for open doors, and hopefully get them saved. and this, i think is by far the biggest dream i've had.

/

and yooopeeedooooweeee i can promote!

And i am extremely pleased with my results :D i have nobody but God to thank. And of course, caihui mingjie shan huahui gina ryan and everyone else for the prayers and encouragement cos i've finally made it.

and my awesome girlfriends (A, C, P, G) ,they can promote too!

who says positive thinking can't bring you far?

Gayle told me off that positive thinking is good, but it wouldn't help anything in their situations. But i must say, absolute faith in yourself and in the One who is higher than you, looking after you, does work the best way.

Lots of work to do next year, as reprimanded and forewarned by our future Literature teachers Miss Kay and Mrs Tan,

"next year is KILLER."

I don't know how i will do it.

but i do know i can, cuz He has never left me, but we only grew closer.

and each breath i take, each brand new step i take, is a new adventure i am after, a whole new dream, new strength, new energy, new passion.

Behold, all things have become new

/

can't wait for Edge night tomorrow!

i will arise and lay down this sacrifice

Golden

2008-10-15T08:11:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow's the day. Less than, 9 hours?

Many people can't sleep. Cos they doubt the hard work they have put in themselves. or simply just doubted their own abilities.

this is the time when you begin to regret, you could have do more then instead of sleeping, or watch television.

this is the time when you hoped there would be someone helping you out and making sure things will turn out good.

All things work out good for those who love Him.

And i seriously thank God, for not just being with me through such dark times of anxiety, but every single day, Daddy's there to share my joy and laugh with me, or when i cry and sream into my pillow He is there to watch me, pat me on the head and reassure me that He is there and He wouldn't let any bad things happen.

Everyone needs someone like God, and since He's irreplaceable, can anyone else be Him?

today we had a fair fun day watching Mama Mia (second time for me).

I love them, Aisyah, Colleen, Gayle and Pris.

Through thick& thin girls.

i had a nice chat with Joseph. i miss this ah pek. Haha.

and of course, Perth and its beautiful people and weather.

those perfect days

Chasing

2008-10-11T10:36:00.000-07:00

In an attempt to run away, i ran to the dead end of the alley. The walls were too high i can't climb over, turning back meant facing the enemy.

Our own solutions usually brew much more troubles to come.

When you kept looking upwards for a wall you could climb over and escape out of reality, you usually fail to look down to see the rope of Hope waiting.

How ignorant Man can be. Yet, we only learn our lessons from mistakes.

Even so, some never learnt that the minute they strive to be stronger, they became weaker. And the opposite reaction always takes place.

The rope of hope can give you strength, cuz you know on the other side someone will pull you.

but climbing over the walls takes away your energy and everything, when you try to do everything yourself.

the comfortable situation i was in, that i thought i am in, was all along a part of my desire to smooth-sail my life.

Rocky road's never my kind of cake.

and fear, oh the greatest emotion that grips and paralyses me.

i wonder how long i have to wrestle day and night in exchange for something i, and everyone around me wants. but i will not strive for people's expectations, i will strive for what my Daddy wants in his heart.

Wish me luck

nil

2008-10-10T10:28:00.000-07:00

Insignificant people can actually make the greatest impact. I just witnessed a few days ago, a bangladeshi worker giving up his seat to a granny. they exchanged smiles, but i felt people's eyes falling on him. And, his look became shame. not the kind of pride you get when you did something right. but shame, for who he is even if he did a good deed.

I just can't seem to find the root of the cause of the stereotype of bangladeshi workers.

have they actually done something in Singapore to make us feel a need to repel?

but what i see daily on the headlines of papers and news, are Singaporeans committing murder, and all sorts of crimes.

Never have i seen a bangladeshi breaking singapore laws. Or else, pardon me for my little exposure to the current affairs and news.

Is this Elizabethan age when people stereotype black to evil and devil?

Does skin color really matters so much?

They came here in a hope for a better Home for their families.

They know what they are doing, and they know what they should not do. (unlike Singaporeans)

They are humble, and kept to themselves everything.

They are not allowed to cry or complain or take leave, because time and reality doesn't allow these.

They do all they can to please, but they will never look straight into our eyes for fear of judgement.

When will Singaporeans ever wake up from their oh-i-am-soo-high-class-i-earn-100-times-more-than-you illusion?

The fact is, they may be insignificant to you.

but they make the most impact.

Would there be iOn, IR, and all the roads that you are driving your flashy cars on without these people who work hard and toil regardless of sun & rain?

to all Serangoon Garden residents who signed the petition against the bangladeshi worker dormitories, wake up. You can't even have anything over your head if not for these workers.

They are not slaves, they are human.

Humanity needs to be reviewed among these constant wars against money, fame, and pride.

///

I just got so agitated that day when i witnessed it.

and i had to let it out.

my ulcer is hurting like madness i wish i could chop my mouth though it meant i can't talk which actually means alot to me.

after shopping for a skin for an hour, i finally found a normal one.

and i am extremely proud to have found lim hua hui's blog. though i know she is secretly trying to hide her open blog.

Inhumane

2008-10-06T07:45:00.000-07:00

( the picture has no relation to the post, or any words i utter. It's just, i am soo mesmorised with him. Ed Westwick AKA Chuck Bass)

/

I don't feel like a human in school.

Its a cell. It keeps you from doing what you want, for too long.

It denies you of the basic right to choose to stay or leave.

I know, because this is school and it is Authority.

but why 4 hours of nothing?

I cannot stand seeing time slipping out of my hand like that,

watching the second hand ticks and the minute hand awaits.

The clock was never created to be watched at,

it isn't a toy for boring people to stare at while counting time passed.

It is suppose to tell you how much time you have left. (not exactly the time as in how many O clock)

The value of time is being how much you have left.

But by sitting still and fixing my eyes on it, the value is simply diluted.

and, it just sucks to do nothing knowing that you are going to get results next week?

JC life is stressful i know. but nobody ever warned me it's painful.

PW is totally, it should be scraped off from future syllabus.

It does more harm and damage than creating anything constructive.

Like, imprisoning my free soul.

He tried to pretend he did not feel the weight of her grief, lying between them like a fitful child, so solid that he could not reach past it to touch her.

smile

2008-10-03T08:32:00.000-07:00

Standing in a different point of view,

in another person's shoes.

Seek

2008-09-29T22:37:00.000-07:00

I've finally tasted "sitting around the premises waiting for the promises."

Opportunities are never lacking.

they're just hidden.

and when things are hidden, it requires someone to seek.

unless you seek, you'll never find.

Chains are breaking loose

2008-09-19T11:15:00.000-07:00

When the sun rises,

faith and hope will boil in my blood

i am still in the process of learning His grace and Perfect Love

each time they come as a new experience,

and i will for the rest of my life

Crossin Over

2008-09-13T10:50:00.000-07:00

I wanna buy this New release book at Attributes, Crossing Over.

It looks really good to challenge my comfortable setting.

The recommendation says : "From complacency to Passion."

exactly what that is lacking in many people today.

passion is hard to come by, and even harder to stay and grow.

It comes and goes, fades away quickly.

Moreover to be passionate about something unseen to the natural eye naturally seems ludicrous.

but once we get hold of this passion, nothing can stop us from what we want to do.

my literature book 1984 (George Orwell) reflects alot on human nature, how we are instinctively driven by our passion.

our passion could turn into strength and courage, and cultivate the come-what-may attitude.

Passion is rare, but where are we placin it at?

/

Old clothes are the most comfy.

that's why you always wear them to sleep.

your old bolster always smell nice, and you will never want to throw it away for the new one.

what makes us comfortable are hard to root out.

but Passion is what that will bring us over safely to the Uncomfortable, to the Unknown, and gives us courage to face our own fears.

Dump your bolster and pick a new one.

Soon you will find it becomes old, and it's time to get a new replacement.

It never stops, this war with the unknown, with the self and the heart.

but the cross over is worth the blood and sweat.

not just for the rewards of eternal life,

but the fulfillment as a Son carrying out the vision of the Father.

Till i stepped OUT of the zone of comfort, breakthroughs will never knock on my door like a free gift.

/-

Exams are nearing.

so, it's starbucks studying with Lim tmrw.

2 MORE WEEKS IT'S GONNA BE OVER!

/

Dear Dad

Bliss or Doom

2008-09-12T09:02:00.001-07:00

I've always stood still

Alone in my train of thoughts

thinking who I was what I will be

I love to escape reality

I hate myself sometimes

because i didn't know who I exactly is

or what did my Maker make of me

Today we watched a video of Joel, in US, how his life had been radically flipped the wrong side

An innocent family outing begins with the exciting drive and then the tragedy;

before any bliss was built among the family, doom dawned

The car was swallowed in flames

the fire licks at the little Joel

charring his entire body

His ears were burnt and gone

His skin was 80% severely scalded

Nobody believed he was ever going to live beyond that minute

but with the prayers of the nation

the cries of the family

and the doctor's help

little Joel grew up to be like any ordinary kid

just without fingers toes ears hair and smooth skin

His life was as usual as any other people's

He excelled in sports and got married

and he never hated the truck driver who pushed the start button of this accident

He testified in court

and spoke directly to him

the man who hurt and changed his life, for the better or worst, forever

the man who caused him to live in oblivion to his own natural looks

what it feels like to have fingers

the man took everything away from Joel

but Joel said : "they can take my fingers, and my toes away. But they can never take my person, the one who is living inside me. Nobody can take it."

He knew the extraordinary plans God has for him

and he never gave up trusting in what God has prepared for him this life

whether people perceived it as a bliss or doom

to Joel, it might just be a bliss realising who he really is without the appearance factor

and bliss or doom are you perceiving for yourself?

sometimes we just fail to look at the big picture

but only remain gazing at the very little at-the-edge-of-the-frame portion where a little spot of mistake is

how ignorant we are of His great love

and power to change even history or halt time

anything for us He would do

since the day He willed to die for us

sweetheart, Daddy loves you

Letter

2008-09-03T09:50:00.000-07:00

I am not a bad girl.

i am not very good either.

am i not good enough, am i not doing enough?

alot of people don't like me i know. for the way i am.

i've been trying my entire first 14 years on earth trying to please everyone possible.

I've compromised, i gave up what i wanted for what others wanted from me.

I became "nice", so that i can be accepted.

i am aggressively defensive, because i am afraid.

I don't know if everyone does feel the same but every now and then, i forgot who i am.

I recalled my own name, and my face, and that very moment i became a stranger to myself.

and believe me, the feeling is extremely strong.

Its true, i still remembered once God spoke through my leader and told me to stop searching for myself, for who i really was/am.

All our lives we want recognition, from people, from ourselves.

We need to know who He is before knowing who you are. (i'd lay down my life and say this is truth)

And i believe, i am not bad or good, i am just sufficient for God's grace to work.

there's no bad or good people, there are only willing children that He will use.

And thank God i am still standing here, SOBER, without a split personality of knowing myself as a total stranger.

thank you to the friends who have accepted me and corrected me.

and thank you Daddy, for never quitting on me. That's the best assurance i can ever get.

Love you

long ago

2008-09-02T09:31:00.000-07:00

Long ago when i had plaits

when i weighed only 24kg

at the tender age of eight

long time ago

when i used to play with sand

went to the zoo with my friends

and spoilt my new shoes strap

i cannot recall how long exactly it was

i only remember my friend since 8 yrs old

I MISS REGINA LEE.

i hate it when we are FINALLY in the same college, but things just weren't the same as it is when i was 13.

Watching Gossip Girls reminds me of the both of us.

Serena and Blair!

When years ago she blew hot air into my ear at night to annoy me
discuss about boys that we liked

when we would giggle and pretend to sleep when her daddy comes to check on us

and laugh our way to sleep

she would make breakfast for me

sausages egg and on lucky days bacon!

like Breakfast at Tiffany's!

Growing up isn't great at all.

Children just keep wishing for things they should not,

such as GROWING UP

because it entails so much more responsibility

parents' expectations

trying hard to please everyone around

staying close to the friends you knew since young

and hold your world not letting it fall apart by an inch

more often than not

they still crumble

we still have to piece them back together

no matter how much we pretend we could hold everything in place

it just won't work out

i'm not depression-ing

life is just the way it is

we can't bring the past to present

we can only create our own present hoping the future might change for the better

we grow up and we CHANGE

we are different as who we were in pinnafores and plaits

but anyhow

the love is still the same

and i am still angry at why i changed my computer and i have ZILCH photos with her

I MISS YOU OLD FRIEND

(and i will never forget the first day we met HAHA you know what i'm talking about)

BACK TO XOXO GOSSIP GIRLS!

No more

2008-09-01T07:35:00.001-07:00

I am feeling time slipping out of my grip

I am suddenly overwhelmed by the load of work i have

I hate the feeling of regret, it taste worst than betrayal.

JC is driving me crazy!

but i mustn't dwell on it, it will consume me.

Incandescent

2008-08-31T12:03:00.000-07:00

" He said the way my blue eyes shined

Put those Georgia stars to shame that night "

Taylor Swift rocks.

I wanna be somebody like her and write my own songs, someday.

Andrew

2008-08-30T11:26:00.001-07:00

Holidays holidays holidays yes they have come but they will go in a flick of an eye.

Learning how to breathe is not something you could practice and get it right.

It is surrendering your weapons your will your every bit of strength and whatever that is remaining in this wrecked body that was abused by time.

It is to depend on an outer Source, to drink life and strength from it.

I was d.i.y'ing a good friend's birthday card for the celebration tomorrow (Sakae Teppanyaki!) and reviewing all the neo-prints i've taken ever since i was 12.

I had a very simple, all-over-the-street kind of life.

attention-hungry.

I just hate to think of my past.

But, i've never regretted it.

Given a chance, i will not change anything about it.

The past creates the future, by changing the past, you changes the future.

I am not the author and i can't change my past, nor create my own future.

maybe i can, a doomed future.

God promised something, but He didn't promise everything.

I wanna be an Andrew, the backstage man who managed to pull everything together into a fabulous show.

The flesh within is crying for glory and credits, appreciation and praises,
but the Spirit is yelling for humility and righteousness, YOUR glory and YOUR name to be lifted up high.

Won't you quit worrying if all the work is to be done by Him?

ANYHOW, HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY TO RYAN WEE.

Whatever it takes

2008-08-26T00:05:00.000-07:00

It was Service Learning Day today at ECP picking rubbish at the beach! (photos at my facebook)

i hate the sun, it was cooking my face.

things are changing, moving on at a speed that i struggle to keep up with.

expectations and demands are becoming difficult to please.

but i know i don't have to keep up with the speed of anybody.

Imagine yourself running in the gold medal match of 100m sprint, without going through the rounds of heats to know whether you are capable to run as fast as others.

We are too lazy to run the heats and train up for this gold medal race.

Don't look at other people's success and say, wow i can do that too.

of course you can. but not YOU but He who lives in you.

Ask your Coach what you are capable of, train with Him, and wait for the best opportunity when He will launch you out and you will find yourself running all the way for the gold medal.

anything else before that, keep learning, keep changing.

i still remember the goals i set for 2008 during one of the meetings with Yahlan.

and i've never forgotten the one goal i set for myself, for Change.

I wonder how long, or rather, how short 2008 will end in a speedy fashion and with what feelings will i open my arms for 2009. And what kind of person will i become.

Anyhow, I really want to go out with a few busy people i miss SOO much.

I'll do whatever it takes

to turn this around

Far away

2008-08-14T08:52:00.000-07:00

I love the song. Faraway by Nickelback.

I have this sick feeling for the week.

I am glad it is coming to an end.

I've totally lost my survival's kit.

I almost couldn't breathe.

It didn't feel like i was drowning or buried under heaps of debris.

I just felt like, i'm in this sooo sooo small and confined room, i can't stand or lie on my back or do anything, i can only hug my knees and bury my head in between them.

The feeling might still be lingering.

And i SERIOUSLY need to breathe.

I'm beginning to HATE school.

WHY MUST LESSONS END AT 5 ALMOST EVERYDAY?

WHY MUST MY SCHOOL BE IN POTONG PASIR THAT I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT 5.30AM EVERY MORNING JUST TO MAKE SURE I GET A SEAT ON THE BUS?

WHY MUST I STUDY OTHELLO AND 1984 THEY ARE BEGINNING TO SEEM TOO DRY I DREAD TO READ THEM? AND, LIT IS NO LONGER FUN?!

forgive me. it's a me thing to complain.

i don't believe in the worst. At least, i don't want to believe in the worst. I had imagine alot on my way home. What things would be like, and i couldn't carry on. It's too, unbearable. Too painful. I didn't want to, and i still don't want to believe in the worst.

This time, This place

Misused, Mistakes

Too long, Too late

Who was I to make you wait

Just one chance

Just one breath

Just in case there's just one left

'Cause you know,you know, you know

That I love you

I have loved you all along

And I miss you

Been far away for far too long

I keep dreaming you'll be with me

and you'll never go

Stop breathing if

I don't see you anymore

On my knees, I'll ask

Last chance for one last dance

'Cause with you, I'd withstand

All of hell to hold your hand

I'd give it allI'd give for us

Give anything but I won't give up

'Cause you know,you know, you know

P.S i want breaking dawn, I NEED IT

Decided

2008-08-03T08:27:00.000-07:00

Resolution for the remaining 4 months of 2008

SHUT MY MOUTH UP FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR.

OPEN WIDE MY EARS TO LISTEN.

August Rush

2008-07-31T09:16:00.000-07:00

ITS AUGUST THE FIRST!

8 months have passed.

What've you and i been doing?

I just pray and really hope that things will turn better.

Quoted from Colleen's,

" I'll get better. I always do. "

August reminds me of August Rush.

One of my favourite movies. (i have many but i usually forget they are my favourites)

If i could be like August's mum,

playing music all my life

it will be a bliss

there are so many things i've missed and unable to accomplish

Ballet Violin Painting

they look like an absurd combination if i add in Siying into the equation

Oh yes i know

That which i am unable to accomplish

I'm sure there are better things waiting for me?

On the lighter note, i'm enjoying school.

Soely because of the presence of my classmates.

And i found out, school brings out the ugliest me.

It is when i am most tired,

when i thought no one is watching,

i spilt the beans and became the ugliest.

IT'S TIME TO STOP ALL THE NONSENSE!

I'm not going to say crude words, or gossip anymore

And i need some help

Systems, laws, regulations

2008-07-31T08:19:00.000-07:00

Revolving round a System that we believe in

we set our lives base on the laws and regulations we draw for our own world

We often try to be as normal, like anybody else as possible

And we are afraid, of being different

paranoia, of the faces of others that may mock and despise us for our differences

Until we know how we are made so specially

each detail carefully considered

liberated in the freedom He gave

faith in each step you take

things which seemed ludicrous

now becomes natural

There is no true definition to "normal" or "special"

For what is the margin you're measuring with?

They are self-defined

Be yourself

be as crazy as you want to be

with your thoughts and dreams

It is in the imaginary that there is no system

no laws

no regulations

the unrestrictive paradise - there you shall paint your most daring visions

you're allowed to be insane

and far fetched in your ideas

that world belongs to you and only you

no one will step in to intefere

no one will point fingers at you

they cannot judge you

they will not understand you

but those aspirations you have

He knows He understands He judges

the bubble you create to be in

share it with Him

and He will make everything lighter

that you can float on happiness and truth

if you don't

doubts will creep in like monsters

they burst your bubble

sink and vanish

not leaving any evidence of it's existence

the worst case scenario

having a dream never expressed

having a dream never existent

Veronika Decides to Die entrenched me in a train of thoughts.

Of Life, and Death.

The purpose of living. Not just merely the sweet words of

"I am living to fulfil the destiny God gave me."

There is more to it.

Much more in life that you will have to taste and bear.

Reality you have to embrace daily, while struggling with your faith and beliefs.

when you try to be normal, you will become abnormal - you're not YOU

Without a balance, or a good thought to your life's direction,

everything will crash. Unpleasant emotions.

Only at the verge of Death will we realise the meaning of Life.

I'm not just talking about the physical death.

Deaths - spiritual, emotional, psychological...

when we try so hard to be normal

to blend in with everyone else

at the prospect of death we realise how important it is to unleash the giant in you

there's no point waiting no one waiting

release now

surrender

dare

dream

He'll be there to make sure you turn from death to life

Veronika Decides to Die by Paulo Coelho (a good book, but kind of saddist and depressioning depending on the way you perceive the ideas presented. Okay, too much lit.)

Balance

2008-07-27T04:54:00.000-07:00

I've been searching for something.

It used to be too hard to find.

I had to go through valleys and storms and still end up with nothing but more mess.

But i learnt the easier way.

To give up but let Someone i can trust to take over the job.

I always believe, all the strength and energy we have in this life time is only enough for us to live a quarter of what we end up living.

The grace of God made everything possible for us.

And that's that. We don't work to earn it.

We live by faith to receive it.

And that, entails everything that has been given to us by His grace.

With that, i do not know how to say thank you enough.

For giving me the way, possible to find what i want.

It's not that hard actually.

We just have to pull down our face, stripped off every weight we carry, come before Him knowing what you want.

The blesser and not the blessings.

This life which i NOW live, i live it for You

Ugly rainbow

2008-07-22T22:27:00.000-07:00

Only with the renewal of your mind can you change your behavior.

Change is a constant effort.

And i finally tasted its sour.

We are not the same

Higher

2008-07-21T03:41:00.000-07:00

There is always a higher place.

A higher dream.

A higher vision.

A higher Person.

A higher thought.

A higher paradise.

Sky has no limits. Even if you've slept on the fluffy clouds and feel like its your paradise, one day the bed you sit on will be filled with droplets of complacency and eventually fall as rain of destruction.

It doesn't benefit to stay the same.

Change is the only constant.

Life is upward-mobility.

There is always a stage of mist and fog you've to go through in half-blindness. You can't see and you can't feel anything real, everywhere is cotton and there are no N-S-E-W.

This is when you know, you know, you know you need a Helper.

No compass can guide you.

No maps can navigate you.

You need to ride upon the wings of the Invisible one.

You can't see it, but you feel it.

The sense of security and assurance as you ride on it and fly across the mist.

If and only you have faith, you will be surprised how far and high you can fly.

And i will fly high above the clouds

Riding the skies lifting your glory

Let all the earth watch us live in love

Praising your name and fly along with You

We've had enough of lies, that we can do it alone.

It's pathetic to be proud. The price to pay is too much.

"Come back, come back to me."

-Cecelia, Atonement

Speaking of which, Atonement is an immensely difficult piece of Art.

I heard of people who took 3 months to re-read the book to understand everything.

I'm on the movie, and right from the 1st second i have not understood a thing.

It's officially, nuts.

I wanna try out Paulo Coelho. Pardon my ignorance i've never read The Alchemist.

There are just too many books and too little time to do.

Too many beautiful things on earth and too little time to appreciate.

This book's about a 24 year old girl who has everything anyone possibly dreams of - wealth, fame, beauty, boyfriends, family, decided to swallow 4 packets of sleeping pills and die beautifully.

She woke up in a mental hospital realising she's not dead, but only days to live.

And, how she struggled with the unseemingly important factors of life, and the reason to live.

Man often die over the smallest thing in life.

I hope it's gonna be refreshing.

Emotional range of a teaspoon

2008-07-18T10:13:00.000-07:00

They are coming on Sunday!

But, i doubt i can make it.

And its the 3rd time i'm missing such chances.

Nothing to lose

2008-07-17T09:20:00.000-07:00

I grabbed hold of the steel chains

that bonded us together

entwined with my fingers

soft, warm against hard, cold

with a swift movement i attempted

a failure to threw it off me

Since when

no idea

i compromised living

with the comforts of the constraint

till you decided to leave

you were running not to a destination

but to the beginning

where every cycle begins yet again

I couldn't make up my mind

when i stretched out the last finger

to find you nowhere

i knew it was time

that we bade goodbye

and i heard a voice

from beyond the clouds and skies

"you and no one else made the right choice"

/

nothing to lose but everything to gain.

the followership i made up my mind to devote to lives up to the statement.

Truly, inevitably, times when you dread doing things you know are appropriate, and instead chose to stick to the metal chains.

You know it's weighing you down.

You feel the weight, but you refuse to acknowledge its presence.

because every one is doing it, and you followed what was "socially" right and acceptable

and forgone the wishes of your Maker

We are puppets that run away from our Master

puppets with free will and emotions

puppets with a beating heart and kicking limbs

we ran away from the One who made us

rebelliously we looked back and sticked out our tongue

in the most juvenile way we screamed in our heads

"away from me away. I just wanna do what i want and perhaps, i'll come back someday."

the dirt accumulates and blinds our vision and judgement

we relied on how we feel, good versus bad

the calibre went wrong and soon when we realised it

we thought it was all too late

"too late to apologise"

naked, we ran back the same home we walked out of

welcomed by the embrace

droplets on sunshine condensed against us

never leave you nor forsake you

the same words painted on the hallway

remained untainted

perfectly written

-

So he returned home to his father.

And while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming.

Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him.

His son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you, and I am no longer worthy of being called your son.’

“But his father said to the servants,

‘Quick! Bring the finest robe in the house and put it on him. Get a ring for his finger and sandals for his feet.

And kill the calf we have been fattening. We must celebrate with a feast,

for this son of mine was dead and has now returned to life.

He was lost, but now he is found.’ So the party began.

Luke 15:20-24 (NLT)

07 07 08

2008-07-11T10:16:00.000-07:00

It was our birthday on 7th July.

We were born, 4 years ago. When we were 13.

Seriously, how time filies.

I was suppose to be in this photo above!!

It doesn't get any better than this .

Expectancy

2008-07-11T09:59:00.000-07:00

The week had been tiring.

Full of ups and downs emotionally.

Test results were devastating, but a fine wake-up call to Promos.

I'm glad. I praise God even for those bad results i've got.

I know ultimately, He's gonna turn things around for me.

Physically, school is demanding more and more of my time and energy.

It's been a good s t r e t c h.

But i'm finding myself giving too much.

I am tired.

But i will drink from the Living Water, the best source for Renewal and Refreshment.

/

Well. Expectancy's been the word stuck in me today.

It is easy to stay faithful to the usual church routines, but often we tend to forget to expect.

I don't know if it's just me.

Expectancy's the key to God.

It opens up the door of our heart,

for Him to pour out more of Him into us.

Without expectancy, we are just vessels filled with dirty water.

And i learnt. i gotta empty those dirty distractions stuck in me,

think and expect God to do something,

and fill the empty vessel with His Helper.

Fill it with mercy, peace and love.

Jude 2

Mercy, peace, and love be multiplied to you.

Finding myself

2008-07-06T11:20:00.000-07:00

I had seached high and low, for the true identity i hold.

i asked myself repeatedly, am i good?

And i found ways, to become as special as i could.

/

I cannot put into words how He has made me experience roller coaster in 3 days.

First (and i promise myself the last) time ever i felt dejected, that no one would care my exsistence anyhow. That no one really loved me for who i am, they just love me for the way i am. Comical, funny, clown-y, jovial, happy-go-lucky. But who besides Him actually know they were all a show of disguise?

Yes, life was a drama I directed myself.

I told myself, when i stand on THAT stage, i gotta shine like a star. I have to do all I can, dress my best, and catch everybody's attention.

I wanted to be special. I wanted to be Odette.

And i wanted to take on other roles i've seen in other theatres.

So much, i thought i wasn't good enough.

I'm afraid people would no longer watch my performance.

They might walk out of the theatre, right before my eyes even when i did all i could to look my best.

Those lies that i lived with for life, were all being scratched away today.

It was painful but it was good. For me, and for my audiences.

It was never easy to believe in myself.

"Good job", it was never good enough.

"Great effort", it just meant failures.

"Try harder", it sounded like Just Give Up.

Until Someone along the road, a Traveller that stopped over to watch my performance. I danced the best i could, but i slipped and i fell. I sang the best i could, but i cracked a little note and made the best living joke. I acted the best i could, but i forgot what i needed to say and became the biggest embarassment of the night.

He saw my failings, but He smiled.

The traveller held my face in His hands, that felt like the warmest cup of cocoa, and He whispered in a still small voice that only I could hear,

You're special. I know who you are. That's why i came here to watch you. I know the one behind the stage, and I love just the way you are.

He gave me a dress.

It was the most simple dress i've ever seen, the most comfortable one i've ever wore.

And it felt like Home.

He shouted encore, i came out in the little dress.

I danced, I sang, I acted. And it became, He was the only One i could see off-stage.

And that night onwards, I know I am the most special Odette.

/

This is all that i needed to know.

I don't have to know why i'm born with the body and family i have, the failings i experienced, the circumstances i face, the mountains i can't move, the things I can't do. I just needed to know, the God who saved my life; that I am special in His eyes. That He could give me eternal gifts that will last me for life.

I'm not just good, i'm great. Because God says so.

I no longer believe in the lies of the Evil one, that i am never good enough.

I made Him my Director, and I will trust in where He will lead me to.

I realise, I might just put my lives in the hands of my Father, and He will make me the greatest Odette. For Him, for His glory, for His kingdom.

Jeremiah 1:4-12

The LORD gave me this message:

"I knew you before I formed you in your mother's womb.

Before you were born I set you apart

and appointed you as my prophet to the nations."

"O Sovereign LORD," I said,

"I can't speak for you! I'm too young!"

The LORD replied, "Don't say, 'I'm too young,'

for you must go wherever I send you

and say whatever I tell you.

And don't be afraid of the people,

for I will be with you and will protect you.

I, the LORD, have spoken!"

Then the LORD reached out and touched my mouth and said,

"Look, I have put my words in your mouth!

Today I appoint you to stand up against nations and kingdoms.

Some you must uproot and tear down,

destroy and overthrow.Others you must build up and plant."

Then the LORD said to me, "Look, Jeremiah! What do you see?"

And I replied, "I see a branch from an almond tree."

And the LORD said, "That's right, and it means that I am watching,*

and I will certainly carry out all my plans."

Note

2008-07-04T10:31:00.000-07:00

I AM UNCONTACTABLE NOW.

BECAUSE I LOST MY DEAR PHONE AT RAFFLES CITY.

AND MY MUMMY REFUSE TO GIVE ME HER IC.

SO I CAN'T COLLECT MY SIM CARD

GOD PLSSS DO A MIRACLE LET ME BE CONTACTABLE AGAIN

PLS PLS PLS

I MUST HAVE BEEN SO STUPID AND CARELESS TO LEAVE IT ON THE SHELVES

THIS IS NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN

EVER IN MY LIFE

Interesting

2008-07-03T10:56:00.001-07:00

I found some interesting stuffs.

To kill time at http://www.blogthings.com/

It's hilarious. Go take all the random quizes. HAHA.

and check this out.

If You Were Born in 2893...

Your Name Would Be: Pant Ardv

And You Would Be: A Prophet

If You Were Born in 2893

yeah ME!

You Are a Carousel

You are young at heart and a truly playful person. No one would ever accuse you of taking life too seriously.

You are definitely in things for the fun. You find joy easily, and you are often building up anticipation for your next adventure.

In relationships, you tend to want to be babied and taken care of.

And while you may be a bit high maintenance, you are incredibly loyal.

Your life is simple and satisfying. Each day you treat yourself to something you enjoy.

You have a lot of emotional attachments, and experiences are extra vivid to you.

You tend to be nostalgic and sentimental. The past is important to you.

Comfortable around all living things, you have a special connection to animals and children.

At your best, you are whimsical, free spirited, and creative.

Even if your schemes seem a bit strange, they usually work out wonderfully.

At your worst, you are spoiled, demanding, and impossible to satisfy.

You've been known to act like a brat if you aren't getting your way!

What Carnival Ride Are You?

Carousel; i like!

okay random stuffs. I should get some sleep.

Not me but You

2008-07-03T08:14:00.000-07:00

Respect is the most basic moral value.

Even when some people don't seem to deserve your respect,

Give it to them. And only then, that is true respect.

Demand is not the way to live life.

We do not demand in our own name for things to be done.

We got to show respect to people's ideas, points of view, and beliefs. And simply for who they are.

Only juveniles demand.

Look at Jesus, the perfect author and finisher of our faith.

Even on the cross - cursed, despised, abandoned, left behind, He did not demand anything from the Father.

He wept and prayed.

He respected the Will. He respects, and honours our Father in Heaven.

He endured regardless the pain and shame.

He knew that only His freedom could exchange for our freedom.

I'm inspired, to be more like Him.

The God who came humbly as a man to serve.

The God who gave His life so that i could live.

The God who prays, loves, serves, and believes.

No longer my ways.

Your will be done.

The skin that i am wearing, must be torn.

And be replaced with the character of Jesus.

I don't want to be demanding, negative, critical, judgemental, faithless, low self-esteemed, discouraged, tired, lazy.

I want to work and tend my garden.

Sow seeds of love, optimism, faith, confidence, hope, endurance, patience.

I want to keep it the most beautiful paradise.

So that when the Day comes, I know just what to answer my Lord.

I'm expecting a great day tomorrow.

Though certain unforseen circumstances (Woman's "best friend") killed my day with band besties today. That i had to come home to swallow all my unhappiness.

Gonna check out my Othello textbook finally.

and IPOD!

ciao

Earthly Utopia

2008-07-02T08:43:00.000-07:00

This whole week have been a fantasy in school.

Lectures are slack. And our class are always having fun outside.

I'm afraid it might kill off the drive to study next week.

Today was awesome.

Dinner with Band Besties.

I mean. Like the first time i ever went out with them after school for dinner.

I'm not blaming on anything or anyone, but i count myself fortunate, EXTREMELY, to have the opportunity.

Such chances don't come by easily.

So, thank God it was a fruitful time spent with them.

Eating and chatting at the coffeeshop like tomorrow's never gonna come.

I wish, so i could see their faces and remember forever.

It was a time of usual bitching, complains, and some motivational promises made to study hard for upcoming-not-so-soon Promos test.

OUR MOTTO : WE WANT TO PROMOTE!

No more Us!

Thus, Starbucks Study Session (SSS) at Cathay tomorrow after School.

I love all of their company. They make my trouble bubbles disappear. LOVE THESE MAGICAL BEINGS!

IVAN SHELDON YILING BELINDA JOEL EVE JIAYING

thanks for Tday!

-

DAD AGREED AN IPOD CLAZZZZZZIC!

OHZ MYZ GOSHZ happppppppeh.

I'm gonna grab it on Sunday. And then a birthday party. And then Grandma house again.

Sad to say Friday is Rest Day, so i'm gonna disappear from College Day (what bores me most are school carnivals).

HIP HIP GOD IS GREAT

Untitled

2008-07-01T01:49:00.000-07:00

I WANT I WANT!

Intensity

2008-06-29T06:07:00.000-07:00

It has been holidays since Thursday.

I felt i could have done more things, isn't it?

I visited Selfless shoes, and i am truly impressed by their amazing works. As well as God's unfailing grace and endless favour upon the team.

ALL THE BEST! SHINE BRIGHTER FOR DADDY THAN YOU ALREADY ARE!

so proud that they are in the same zone as i am!

which brings me back to me myself and I.

i'm still in the midst of thinking what i really wanna do in life now.

I don't want to turn into an aimless SAJC homosapien walking around, freeloading on God's gifts and talents for me. I believe there's gotta be something more, and bigger awaiting me.

I always have intentions of doing something, and never the discipline to put it into action. Maybe it's time!

I'll come back soon with my works! (through Jesus. fyi without Him i can't even lift a grain of rice)

Breakfast at Macs with mummy! WHAT A COOL DAY. I'm so taken aback by Mummy's blessing. We did some lil shopping at Goldheart. I'm gonna make the necklace she bought for me a family heirloom. Give it to my daughter, my granddaughter, my great granddaughter, my great great granddaughter. And everyone will recognise it, the Soh family's heirloom for the female.

Starbucks with Jol! and we went to grandma's house for Dinner.

I could see the radiant glow on grandma face, almost instant, when she saw the both of us.

We used to visit her every sunday without fail with our Mums. But now we became the rare guests, and whenever grandma sees us, her face lit up.

The communication barrier was apparent. She asked me questions about my Aussie trip in Hokkien. But i couldn't reply properly, but merely repeating her words.

It reminded me of how some of us used to frequent the House of God. OUR house. But when we grew up and thought we knew more things, we stayed away and became the rare guests.

The importance of a family, is beyond human's wisdom. What's more, the spiritual family.

I just hope i won't regret.

Sorry for the rantings.

And i found a fun fact, quiker than Snapple.

DURIANS MAKE YOUR FART STINKS, ALOT MORE THAN ONIONS OR GARLICS OR BAKED BEANS.

Imperishable

2008-06-25T08:58:00.000-07:00

I like it the way God puts things across to us.

especially when it comes to dealing with our powerlessness.

His power depends on the powerlessness of Man.

And the fact that victory has already been won,

why bother about failure, defeat, or even death?

The worse you get is death, and after that, its Home sweet Home to Paradise.

SO WHY BOTHER?

Failure is what many people fear. Especially when you put your heart and soul into doing something, or trying to achieve some results, and when you failed, the sense of doom is almost immediate and fatal. It lingers, and seldom fades.

And with each failure and defeat in life, we get tired and let go of the baton of this race. We wave the white flag and tell God, "that's enough."

It is one thing to accept the fact, and another thing to do something out of it.

Defeats are inevitable, because they will still come to you whether or not you are going to take them on, or be crushed.

Being a soldier, definitely not a good job. Not the best job.

But i don't wanna just accept the fact that life for me takes the hard route. I wanna do something with it. And this friendship i wanna have with Him, is gonna depend on my ability to fulfil my roles as a Son, a Servant, a Soldier.

I don't have gates around me

or bars to protect

I only have weapons He gave

and they're all i need to win

On a lighter note, 3 days of CT is over! I'm not feeling any joy of it. Maybe because i'm worried about my results. ITS OKAY, WORRY NOT SMILE MORE!

Tomorrow, i'm gonna stay home for self-meditation.

And friday, IT'S OUTING WITH BANDIE BESTIES!

and Saturday, resummation of Band practice.

just in time, before i forget i actually play a cornet.

Velocity

2008-06-24T11:32:00.000-07:00

I'm brought back to the days when i was growing up.

From a girl to a woman.

Not quite a fully grown woman i know.

But as i recall the first time i bought a real bra with my mummy at Marks & Spencer, i felt so uncomfortable i hoped i wasn't born female at all.

And the first menstruation i had at Jolina's place, first time and it was ONE MONTH LONG!

the hormonal changes nearly ate me up.

And there are so many things a girl would go through in her lifetime. Heartbreaks in relationships, conflicts in friendships, everything then is still so real now.

I miss the past, they became my fertiliser and painted the life i have now.

But they always tell you to forget your past, and move on.

We shouldn't just forget, but turn it into something that will add essence to your life.

The story that everyone has is a different tale to tell. What's yours?

Summer's love

2008-06-22T11:03:00.000-07:00

Everyone's taking about June, June the summer month. The past few weeks were experiential. They were indescribable.

From my trip to Perth, thousand of miles away from home it made me realise how easy it is to lose something, or someone you don't treasure.

What you compromise, you'll eventually lose it.

And everyday of June, was like sucking a lemon ice pop. The awful sourness you first tasted, and then, enjoying the sweetness that followed after.

It's like, working for something, and enjoying the fruits of labouring.

The best part of it was when i don't know what to do, at least i know God knows what to do.

Alive! week: I've missed many of the events from breakfree to Hitchrides to dragonboating. I know, you can't have everything you want. There are bound to be decisions you have to make, and what you decide on eventually lords over what you choose to loose.

I will not wish wishful wishes, that i could turn back time. But ahead of me lies a longer, rocky-er road i have to overcome, and then will i make choices that i will not regret when i look back.

So to sum things up, this month is indeed too exciting i don't know where to start with if i wanna lay down the details.

Physically, spiritually, emotionally, intellectually, musically, everything's been a stretch and the fruits of it are awesome.

My Jesus my Lord

You're the love of my life

wherever You go

wanna be by Your side

no longer I but Christ living in me

serving You for all eternity

My eyes set on You

in this race that I run

no longer my ways

let Your will be done

make me a servant my heart's ever true

clinging to the cross I'll follow You

I'll follow You

Perfect-not World

2008-06-21T11:24:00.001-07:00

Its good chatting with My Paul again.

After such a long time, and all the busyness.

And i finally found out why i've been feeling miserable at certain times in my life.

Like realllllly terrible feeling.

and what she (Yes My Paul) said is true.

the world is imperfect. I've always been that naive girl that lived in deceptions. i believed with all my heart that the world is perfect, it's a nice place, with nice people. And i never really understood the reason why Jesus is here; to save the imperfect world.

And because of my foolishness, i've made myself, and others around me suffer.

Friends, i'm sorry. Sorry because of the high, and impossible-to-reach expectations i have on people, myself, and things happening around me.

And because of that i'm always drowned in the disappointments which i created. And i thought i might just run away from everything.

Hey hey, i'm coming back to earth. : D

thank God, it's never too late to realise what went wrong. And it's never too late to fix anything.

I just wanna highlight something. I FINISHED 5 HOURS OF ECONS, AND NOW I AM FINALLY HERE TO SATISFY MY SOUL TO WATCH MING ZHONG ZHU DING WO AI NI.

life's great

Sizzling hot

2008-06-20T11:44:00.000-07:00

i'm totally stressed out.

WHO CAN HELP ME GET RID OF THE PIMPLES, BLACK SPOTS, AND DARK EYERINGS ON MY FACE?!

Anw, the Alive! Meeting today blew me away.

And, i'm so happy to see yahlan again. Hee.

I was looking around, trying to recall faces and names. I saw how the girl that stood in front of me worshipped. She didn't lift up her hands so high as if she can touch the clouds and feel the throne, but she touched her heart.

feeling her heartbeat?

trying to recall the reason to live?

finding the answer to why she was standing there?

I guess, she's touching the heart that beats for God.

-

And i realise, loving God is a complex yet simple thing.

I must say, ministry has been something God gave me to push me. Keep pushing me beyond my limits, keep pushing me not to give up easily.

After today then i know, being passionate for God is different from being passionate for glory, for recognition.

And i found, and still i am in the process of searching back the passion i had when i first came in 2005. The pure love, pure heart. I am definite to say, even without a ministry, i will still be sizzling hot for the One i serve.

Things do not always happen according to the way you want them to. In fact, they always don't.

this statement is soon becoming the line of my life.

God has many surprises for us in life.

and i just pray that when i open my eyes, you'll still be there.

i found a new love; BLUE

Belongs to the two

2008-06-19T09:03:00.000-07:00

Young and old, till death do us part.

isn't love a wonder? A miracle itself created by God.

You have given to me

More than this world could give

I have the perfect love; the one without blemish, without fault.

thank you Yesus!

I worship you Almighty God
there is none like You
I worship you O Prince of Peace
that is what i long to do

I give you praise
For you are my Righteousness
I worship you Almighty God
there is none like You

命中注定我爱你

2008-06-18T23:13:00.000-07:00

一天一天贴近你的心

你开心我关心

一点一滴我都能感应

你是我最美的相信

等不到双子座流星雨洒满天际

先点燃九支仙女棒代替

最灿烂不一定要许多钻石黄金

看你眼睛有幸福的倒影

把你的讨厌宅急便送到天边

平凡的傻事用了心变成经典

存满满的心愿

便利贴贴成无限

就是我们最富有的宣言

把你的喜欢每一天复习两遍

惊喜的预言我的天通通应验

你和我的心愿

便利贴贴心里面

收集感动给以后怀念

Winner

2008-06-18T09:12:00.001-07:00

Competitiveness is the worse form of spirit.

Disappointments. D :

We did our best, : D

Here i am trying so hard to piece the puzzle, and restore things,

why hasn't anything changed for the better?

IN HOPE, HAVE FAITH . TRUST IN THE LORD .

I can't believe

2008-06-18T02:12:00.001-07:00

I can't believe what i just did today.

I went for the morning prayer meeting and i came home for a NAP.

and i slept from 10am, to 5pm.

-.-

Life is full of unpredictable events. And amazing things will you do.

Unpredictably, i bumped into Jesus and fell in love with Him.

Unpredictably, i knew friends like Caihui and Mingjie.

And i knew fellow soldiers, Huahui and Gina.

And greatest leader, educator, discipler, MY PAUL.

I really love them. : D

nothing's gonna change my world

2008-06-17T09:24:00.000-07:00

Is leaving a necessary part of life?

I've seen people leave, and go, and drifted away.

I've seen hearts that strayed.

Minds that lost focus.

Spirit that lost fire.

Is leaving a must in life?

Maybe, and maybe, it is a cycle. And soon, the thirsty and hungry shall come back to seek the One.

And i love to see you again with the eyes i remembered, the only smile i registered.

I've been searching day and night for you.

I would dive the deepest seas, trek the highest hills just to find you.

My Son, my Daughter, when will you come back to me?

And whisper again, the 3 words i used to hear.

Despair, Hope

2008-06-16T10:34:00.001-07:00

Between praying in despair and praying in hope, there is only a thin line of difference.

we often cry out for revival and breakthrough because we are in despair, and we feel hopeless.

having the faith of a mustard seed mentioned in Matthew, we pray in hope. Pray knowing something will happen, and pray until something happens.

You know, i am really excited for the daily morning prayer with the SOT students and our church's staff. As described by Huahui, it seems like a spiritual adventure everyone MUST take.

EGGGCIITED : D

I feel good when i know i've prayed.

but i feel even better when i know i've prayed, but i haven't pray enough.

Life, chain of reactions

FU QIN JIE KUAI LE

2008-06-15T03:11:00.000-07:00

Happy Father's Day!

Dinner at newyork newyork!

: D

Jealousy, lullaby

2008-06-14T10:22:00.000-07:00

I miss all my eye candies.

And i meant people such as Jude Law, and the ever uber hot Bastian Schweinsteiger.

The referee who gave him a red card, YOU'RE BLIND!

(YES YOUU YOOUUU YOOU AREE BLINNNDDD ZZZZ!)

The Euro Cup just rekindled my love for him! :D

Hard to find girls in love with soccer, but, HERE I AM :D

today's auditions for Supertransformation, i must say it was good. Really good. The best i've ever seen from Da bian (BIG CHANGE).

Catch us in the Finals (:

We are too young for such things, get a hold of your life before messing others'.

If it were as easy to forget something, as deleting photographs...

5 days of 1hour morning prayer, I AM EGGGCITED TO SEE MYSELF AT THE END OF IT.

there are many perth photos. so, iw ill upload bit by bit.

i wanna ask God, and i wanna an answer

Destiny is holding me

2008-06-13T08:06:00.000-07:00

I love and hate staying at home sluggishly.

Like i stayed home for the entire day, slouching on my sofa and only managed to scrape through TWO physical geog notes.

i have still have a whole pile of human geog notes, untouched.

Life is getting horrible when you know you have to study.

Colleen is leaving for shanghai tomorrow. Sweet. Bon voyage love!

Going overseas can really be something nice and unforgettable. Like to me, Australia still lives in me. And i totally miss those peeps that bitched with me.

Pictures soon i promise, until jiaxin return me my memory card (:

I read through 2 letters i wrote to 2 different people who were very dear and precious to me. And i realise how immature i was. I can't say i AM mature now, but, those letters were nonsensical.

And i know why people do say, "promises are meant to be broken."

it sounds ah lian, yeah, but it's true. Don't make promises if you're unsure you can hold on to it forever.

I broke mine, and i'm deeply sorry.

No second chances? fresh beginnings from God's the best gift. :D

i love your smile, go on, smile

Many

2008-06-10T13:16:00.000-07:00

I read many people's blog within the past hour.

I am surprised at how much they could express into words. I am surprised at how special, their lives could be.

I have nothing, nothing at all in me i can boast about. I don't have an interesting life to start with. I enjoy my own life, but, it definitely wouldn't be as interesting as the others'.

My convertion was not dramatic, but it is special to me.

My family isn't very great, neither very bad, but it is precious to me.

My life, may seem black&white to you, yet God brought me colours constantly that only i can see.

I AM NOT SPECIAL, BUT I AM SPECIAL

I've missed out alot during the Perth trip. You realise i don't talk much about it. Those 10 days were spent in dreamland. With angels, 10 of them.

Sacrifices aren't sacrifices if they don't cause you pain.

And only when it cause you pain, it catches God's attention.

and i've just told you how to grab His attention.

I know i'll be in pain, in sorrow for days, weeks, months.
I never had any wisdom how i am going to live through it.
But i will have faith, big faith, that my Love will see me through.

To be different can sometimes be a crazy job.

when was the last time i heard the voice that belonged to me?

The greatest insecurity of my life, is losing myself. Losing my identity. Not much of lost of possessions, but my integrity, my spirit, my soul, my body.

A truth or a lie, you don't have time to find out.

By the time you do, you can't fix it anymore.

A white lie, or a half truth, they are WHOLE LIES.

last 2 weeks of holiday, and already 3days are gone. I BETTER START MUGGIN'.

the moment i stop breathing

Many things

2008-06-10T08:05:00.001-07:00

There is no time for procrastination.

there is no perfect timing.

i regret many choices i made. but thank God for fresh beginnings! :D

i will do anything to make it up to you.

Father's day coming, show your love yo!

seriously, this blog is dying. there isn't much to say. needless to say, much to read.

the saddest goodbye

2008-06-08T09:13:00.000-07:00

i hate leaving perth.

hi i am back to singapore.

miss the fresh air, the green pastures, Karma Lodge, room mates, Paul, everything.

it wasa dream, and i woke up frm it last night. A sweet little dream.

i grew up, and i understood many things, and people.

in a way, i'm glad i'm back.

from nonsense, back to nonsense.

Eve, jiaying, belinda, yiling, euginia, eunice, joel, joseph, ivan, sheldon

SIYING MISS YOU!

Space Movements

2008-05-29T02:25:00.000-07:00

I'm flying to perth tonight!

till then.

Decision

2008-05-26T09:14:00.000-07:00

2 more days and i'm done and over with the nonsense i have here.

I miss secondary school badly.

4T1 classmates and classrooms and teachers,
running up and down with Oheya or charsiew bun,
avoiding Mr. Tiger Tan.

oh how i missed it.

Lucy, sell me your time machine.

Finished

2008-05-21T22:38:00.000-07:00

I hate to blog about something that took place days ago.

Yet i never seemed to find time to blog about the Concert.

Saints E Muzica, i'm proud to say that it is a success.

Many may comment on the hiccups in our first song, how bad the J1 batch piece : Westside Story was performed, how plain and generic and lame our musical may be,

all these i know, and i acknowledge, the mistakes we made, certain areas which we could have done a better job,

but it was still a success.

In my heart, it was a concert of my life.

Coming to the 5th year in Band, this is my first time ever crying for a performance.

I've cried for SYF, but never for a performance.

Festive Overture, you're a blast. i totally love Cornet section, we owned the piece entirely.
And the rest of the concert, especially the musical, i can see that everyone really let down their hair and have fun for this very last shot.

SAJC band, we're all in this together

to my batch, let's continue to live out the legacy that our j2s have left behind.
we all know that the road ahead is not going to be easy,
but let's press on.
I'm sure like what many of my j2s say,
with hardwork, we will play good music too.
and we will make it happen as a batch.

ONE FAMLY UNBROKEN

P.S: to all my j2s, I WILL MISS YOU!

For the last time

2008-05-17T10:15:00.000-07:00

Approximately 18 hours to concert.

I never thought time could fly that fast.

i learnt it could fly.

but i never seem to catch up with it.

the short span of time spent with the j2s, the craps and jokes, i am certain to say i do not wish for them to leave the band.

afterall let's face the fact, tomorrow is the last night for batch 07/08.

yet, it's the first night for us, the 08/09 batch.

like what my SL bean said,

play for your fellow men on stage.

play with your hearts.

infuse your stories into your music.

and, tell the world what you live for.

i am afraid i can't play well.
yet i will remain composed and calm,
for the sake of my j2s.

Bean, Syafiq, Hayden, Syarah, Caryl, Melisa,

I LOVE YOU.

975

2008-05-16T08:59:00.001-07:00

1 more day to concert.

:(

Time bomb

2008-05-13T10:10:00.001-07:00

I am counting down.

4 more days to Saints E Muzica.

I'm gonna play my hearts out, it's not my thing but i am part of it.

15 more days to Perth.

Can't wait!

I wanna post the rugby finals' photos soon!

it was a great game.

they really played well.

it was a lost but won battle.

Medals and cups, they rust and fade
titles and names, they are forgotten and erased

but spirits, they remain
dreams, they live and reign

Saints, proud to be

Annihilation

2008-05-13T09:52:00.001-07:00

Let me play on;

sweet sweet love.

Victorious

2008-05-10T22:19:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow's rugby finals.

SAJC VC ACSI

Though i do not know any ruggers in relations, but just to wish the saints all the best. We're gonna rock Padang down and show ACSI what's Rugby.

and you guys are just gonna clap like this, victoriously.

WIN WIN WIN

i'll blog soon about Gayle's birthday celebration. :D

Hollow

2008-05-07T20:21:00.000-07:00

and it feels like i've never been there

They are not people you need most,
but people you want most.

PEOPLE I WANT MOST.

Tonight

2008-05-05T07:59:00.000-07:00

It will not end tonight
neither tomorrow's
it will keep running through my mind
until time stops

stuck.

if hell can be defined,
i would be the best candidate.

BAND CAMP ENDED yesterday.

3rd camp of my life, i must say it has been enjoyable.

Playing music, hanging out with hayati, jiaying, belinda, yilin etc.
Slacking at backstage during Musical rehearsals!
bitching around with new section mate Sheldon!
playing crosby's PSP at the last night.
bathing with the girls with lotsa sreamings.
watching bits of Simpsons movie with batch mates while dozing off beside snoring joel.
walking around in the band room barefooted, listening to ivan's snoring!

i love camps. esp band camp. it is tiring. but, i feel i get smthg out of it.
accomplishment. accompaniment.

MUSIC, you can never escape

Pretence

2008-04-30T11:28:00.001-07:00

Stop.

You shall have no gods before Me.

i've seen it for myself.

and no matter what you're gonna say,

i trust the one i see every morning in the mirror.

Forgone

2008-04-29T23:13:00.000-07:00

You know why i love memories?

they are hidden, but they can be found.

I'm afraid i will lose some of the most precious memories to me.

Bad things happen to good people.

Yes i know.

but, this is simply too much.

I pray, and pray, and pray.
and i waited.

and i'm still waiting

cos You're all i want
You're all i need

get well soon!

and happy birthday!

its time to make some resolutions

Purple bars

2008-04-28T03:22:00.000-07:00

our class today was back to the camwhoring mode.

eh wrong. we've never been. so we started today.

and we were purposely late for PW.

I LOVE 08A06, mee class, mee love!

the people are so, different. and i like it. each and every individual, with their strengths and weaknesses and just by being who they are, i love them.

I have OCD btw. I don't know what each letter stands for, but i just know that the symptoms are one gets irritatable easily by LIL things. and YES I DO.

i hate it when people walk behind me in a very hurried pace.

i dislike it when people walk and drag their feets with flip flops.

and i certainly do not like the idea of people sticking sooo close to me like UHU glue cos that will only make me feel warmer!

POTONG PASIR'S WEATHER'S KILLER.

and the crows, councillors pls practice what you preach, get rid of them for us.

and now i realise for that big lump of my blog post, it is all about school.

hence, school is really occupying all my time.

On a lighter note, i miss her. Badly. I still can't figure out why our day, (planned) was screwed ytd.

When you get busy in life, it is the best time to see who and what is your priorities.

tiredness will not stop love

Never

2008-04-27T08:41:00.000-07:00

tomorrow marks the beginning of another sick cycle.

I'd like to give schooling a new name. Sick Cycle.

we repeat the same thing.

waking up at 5.45am every morning. Taking the same public transport, seeing the same sea of faces in school. Occasional rush of ecstacy when you see your eye candies. and, rounding up the week, the only thing keeping me alive is the band.

and, thank you people who make life better in school. Dearest colleen and junrong, i had fun time bitching with the both of you on MSN yo.

you will never want to know what we've said in that conversation.

btw, we were discussing lit. (:

SAINTS E MUZICA SAINTS E MUZICA SAINTS E MUZICA SAINTS E MUZICA

it is not my thing. i am not leaving the band. but i know, and i can taste that struggle and sorrow.

and Joanne, work hard for mid years. LOVE YOU DEEP DEEP! (copyright colleen)

i am going to bed now. and guess what, it is only 11.44pm.

a moment of luxury i'm never gonna taste again, never

AT THE BEGINNING

2008-04-27T02:43:00.001-07:00

its a new site.

a new sight.

i don't want to link anybody no more.

my title reminds me of the song in our musical.

21 more days to Saints E Muzica.

3 more weeks with the J2s.

and 32 more days to Perth.

I'm counting down life